A CALL WITH CAUSE

Where can I hide from your spirit? How can I flee from your presence? Psalm 139:7

My life begins with this question: Where was God?

I am a young man who comes from a family where my father is Guatemalan and my mother is Chiapanecan, both from indigenous communities...my childhood began after my father's departure to the United States to give us a better life.

Then I began to take my first steps in high school and there began my dreams with art. I was a teenager who draw on his notebooks instead of handing in homework and it was during this time that I made my first friends (not good ones, by the way) who were teenagers of not so good reputation. But one of them taught me how to paint and that's when I started to clandestinely paint the walls of my high school, however, my mom never knew what I was doing.

After a while, I was about to start high school when my mom started attending church with my older brother. They would take me to the meetings, but I really only went to respect my family, because during this period I continued to draw. I belonged to a group at school where we painted, but we also skipped classes. I neglected my studies many times, but I was still committed to continue painting. That was my focus.

Before I finished high school, I met God in a funny way. My mom invited a neighbor to a youth meeting and she accepted, but she didn't want to go alone, so my mom asked me to go with her and I did. That afternoon the one who received Christ in his heart was me and not her. I remember this day very well because it was a funny day.

After this event, months passed until a natural disaster, Hurricane STAN in 2005, hit my city and destroyed a quarter of it. Here my family and I lost everything: our house, possessions and everything my father had accomplished in 8 years during his stay in the United States. I remember him feeling sad to see everything that was going on, as we were also trapped for hours before everything was destroyed.

As a family we were moved into a shelter, as the whole city was in chaos from the destruction. Days passed and everything was incommunicado, when suddenly my father, brother and I were displaced. The days became more and more complicated, until the church and our family helped us. After a month we were able to be reunited as a family and rented a place to live. This was an event that as a family we did not understand why it was happening, but it was the preparation for changes we needed in the church and in our lives.

Some time after all this, I had the opportunity to finish high school, and it was during this time that I met a girl from the church who was younger than me. While I was coming out of high school, she was coming out of middle school. We fell in love and this is where my love story began: two in love, who started seeing each other on the sly. She was the first girlfriend I had ever had in my life.

Meanwhile, weeks and months passed until our families found out and to do it responsibly, I asked her family for permission to continue the relationship and we announced it in church.

A funny thing happened during this season: her dad was not a Christian at the time and although he gave me permission to visit his daughter, it could not be at his house. So we were assigned a place outside where the chickens were. Like any proud teenager, I gave thanks, but decided never to return to that house.

By this time, everything continued: my studies, my relationship with this girl, the church, the desire to enter college and study art. But I could not do it in my city because this career was only in private schools and they were very expensive. So by strange decisions, I ended up studying Industrial Engineering just because I had the subject of drawing. What madness!

While I was studying engineering, I got to know professional art and not just street art. There I began to represent my university in festivals, and that's how I joined arts and engineering. At the same time, I continued to lead my school life, work life, dating and church.

I finished my college career, and my journeys in art began. I ventured out to travel to get international recognition and meet many people. But getting to this point was difficult, because my father never agreed with this and the talks at home were not so good.

The phrase always came up: "Do something productive, focus on your engineering". This hurt me so much and made me feel so bad that my relationship with my family was never good, there was no trust and, therefore, the one who was my girlfriend, became not only my girlfriend but my confidant, my friend and basically everything that I did not have at home.

As time went by I decided to go my own way: I was independent, I had my own belongings, a car, savings and a new government job. Things were looking good for a stable life. In 2016 between talks with my girlfriend, we were already planning to get married and looking at the place where we would build our own house.

The following year, an event that happened in her family came to affect our relationship as well and it was there where the arguments and estrangement began, even my spiritual life was not good and right. And it was at the end of 2017 that without more to say, my girlfriend decided to leave without warning. She just disappeared.

Here began the most difficult stage in my life: the one who was everything to me was gone. The month of December was so difficult, because everything was over and I did not see any future or plans for me. I started 2018 questioning God for everything that had happened, and I started with very strong symptoms of depression that began with moments of silence until it became a very severe illness.

My family thought I was getting over it, but the reality was that I felt myself slowly dying from depression. I went to the doctor because I could no longer sleep and they had to put me on medication to get me to sleep. It was then that I tried to commit suicide by taking 12 pills that I was taking to fall asleep.

Today I can say that it is by the grace of God that I am alive. My family did not know anything about this, until I had to tell my brother the reality in which I found myself. It was very difficult, and my life became even more complicated because I started to do bad things. I wanted to end my life at all costs.

That desire was about to become a reality, because one day while I was traveling in my car I suffered a serious accident. That day became the turning point I needed, because God knew that if I continued with my life the way I was living up to that point, I could die and be lost forever. After the accident I lost money, my health, my car and acquired large debts.

The only thing I wanted at that moment was to die, but my parents helped me. I spent a long time in rehab, and God worked a miracle. I regained my health after almost two months, and that's when a group of missionaries came to my house. These missionaries came from YWAM and their plan was to travel to Nicaragua, but their trip was cancelled at the last minute and they arrived in my city in a strange but perfect way at the same time. My ex-girlfriend was still missing, and I knew absolutely nothing about her.

During the visit of these YWAMers, God did great things beginning with the restoration of my life by hearing the testimony of one of the girls on the team. At that time, I was helping them during their stay in my city by facilitating routes and places to work.

When they left, I felt joyful but very sad at the same time because it was time to face my reality. I had been restored, but my heart was still in a lot of pain and confusion. God began to give me new opportunities in many areas of my life already almost when 2018 was closing, but for me it was sad, because again December was approaching and my ex-girlfriend was still not showing up. It was a difficult month, but now I was no longer alone, my family was with me. I started 2019 with debts that I had to pay as a consequence of the accident, but my relationship with my family was growing and I knew that everything was under God's care.

That same year I received a call to collaborate in a mural in Jalisco in the month of July, and while I was there, I was invited to be in a summer school in YWAM Morelia. The invitation came from a Brazilian friend I had met that same year, since, by that time, I had gained fame as "the Brazilian YWAM trafficker" because the Brazilians I knew would come to my city and I would help them with their paperwork to stay in the country.

I arrived at YWAM Morelia where I did not go to school due to lack of students, but I decided to stay as a volunteer to work in artistic activities with the children in an orphanage. At the same time, I was telling God about my longing to go to the Middle East and work in communities with Mexico.

It was a very strange season, but God was planning everything. At this time, I had to return to Chiapas because my grandmother's health was very bad, and when I arrived full of many questions, she passed away. That meant another loss in the last few years, I felt like I was going from loss to loss.

At the same time I found out that my grandmother had died, I got the news that my ex-girlfriend had shown up and was back in town. I tried to look for her, but her family would not let me see her and so the days went on without an explanation of what had happened. By the end of that year, I was getting more news: she was about to get married.

There began one of the worst moments in my life and my mind began to fill with so many questions: Why did she leave? Why is she getting married? At what point did she meet that guy? Why didn't she want to marry me? In the end, she got married and pictures of her wedding arrived on my cell phone. That day the only thing I wished for again was to die, however, now it was different because I knew God was with me, but that did not stop the guilt from coming into my life and tormenting me every night.

The following year I was chosen to represent Mexico in art at an international level with Mexico City as the host city and I immediately packed my bags. It was so nice to be there because we won second place and received a silver medal. There was so much happiness, but I also knew that my heart was still hurt.

I could not return home because it was just when the pandemic started and I missed my flight, and it was just at that moment when I received the invitation to work on a big project of sculpture and murals. I knew it would be a long time, but at least I would have an income to keep paying my debts. It was a long four months where God brought so many answers to questions that kept hanging over my head.

After this journey, I was invited once again to Jalisco to participate in murals where I spent two and a half months and then continued working in Puebla with more murals. Before moving to Puebla, I spent a week in Mexico City to take a short break and then I received a call from a friend of the YWAM Morelia base inviting me to visit them. I arrived in Morelia and that's when God's plan began to manifest itself....

I would only be at the base for three days, because I was just visiting, but God was being very intentional with me. I had the perfect opportunity and excuse to stay more days to paint a classroom. As I painted and the days progressed, something in my heart was telling me: stay! But also something inside me told me that it was just a thrill and I still had debts to pay, work to do and projects to complete.

My last day at the base I told God: "if it is your will for me to be here, you must give me three confirmations that it is you and I will stay." Before midnight, God had already given me the answer and although a part of me kept telling me that I should go back, something also told me that I should stay. It was the biggest decision of my life, but the most important: I decided to stay.

 I knew God was planning something with all of this, and I made the decision to be part of the September DTS last year. The first few weeks were such strong battles in my mind where I constantly asked myself: God, why did you bring me here? And it wasn't until the week of Healing that I was able to understand what He had for me, when the base director came into the class to answer in five minutes what I had long questioned God about having a family.

From that moment on, everything changed drastically and my school revolved around surrendering and healing many areas of my life, growing in my relationship with God and knowing more of God's Fatherly heart, just what I had been missing for many years.

That is how I came to YWAM, affirming my ministry and healing areas of my life that needed to be restored. My outreach was very difficult because I stopped depending on myself, I learned to surrender and trust totally in God. It was one of the most complicated things, but not impossible. I managed to graduate in February of this year.

The result of all this process was a radical change in my life. God reestablished my relationship with my family. My dad after so many years now has a personal relationship with God. My ex-girlfriend's father and his family decided to follow Christ. My debts were cancelled. My health has improved considerably. Today I firmly believe in the family as the original design. I pray for my future wife and children and my longings are to marry and raise a family in God's will. I continue to grow and know God in order to make Him known. I am a full time missionary through my profession. I am a staff member of the YWAM Morelia base.

Now…

I’m Nery Muñoz López, I’m 33 years old, I’m a plastic artist, I’m an industrial engineer, I’m a certifier of handicrafts, but my identity is to be a SON OF GOD!